We all need a little more Tobymac and Peter Fuller in our lives. Take it from someone who knows the power of positive thought. I had some pretty nasty 'down' times (and still have them occasionally) but I came through with prayer and focus on the positive. No grubby little status post of how much life sucks helped (although it did feel good to vent that way) nor did stewing to myself and reminiscing on all my problems and stress. No, seriously the best thing to pick yourself out of a stoop (besides having an amazing BFF <3!) is to plug into some positivity! I like 108 and 90-whatever the frequency is now, but jamming to the upbeats of Christian Rock really gets me in the right place.
I was bummed when we couldn't even make it to Soulfest (www.thesoulfest.com) for even a day visit, but it was heartening to see everyone's updates through social networks through load-in, during, and through load-out. I saw some friends pick up their usual banter into positive words, others simply proclaimed the joy of being there, and yet others gave thanks to each other for the generous work that made the event happen. I must say Jess and I had an amazing experience at Creation with Ron, but Soulfest, no matter what life brings, will always be our alma mater. I hope someday our children can experience that.
Yet even when I'm far from those wonderful Christian events and people, the beat lives on when I simply plug in a CD with worship or praise or any message that strums Christian values. I need only sing along to Toby or Jars or Newsboys or Peter to feel what I need to feel which contrary to what's felt everywhere else in the world: I belong and it feels good!
The world of music has its ups and downs in terms of lyrics and messages. We can only pray our children find the positive beat in the roller coaster of sounds as they grow. We Christians don't belong to the world; we belong to Christ and we are only here to minister to those who will listen. Make a good sound my friends.
God Bless.
Size Matters... At Least Sometimes
We, as humans, generally like things to fit, right? From shoes to jobs, we like things to fit just right, or at least good enough. I've certainly bought of pair of sneakers I loved even though they didn't have my exact size. Of course sometimes we have to make do with what we've got. For example, I'm sitting at my desk (which is about 30" high) on a little ottoman from the living room which serves as the only chair I've got (that will fit) and it's only about a foot high. Hooray for laptops! Although uploading photos to the iMac does get a bit cramping as that doesn't fit on my lap.Well we haven't had the time to reconfigure the living room to fit the desk top to get it off my desk and there just isn't room for a computer chair in our bedroom. I just have to make do, which is fine.
I feel like I'm always making do or making adjustments. My husband and I are not the same size. He's a decent height and broad-shouldered while I'm rather average for a woman in terms of height. We always have to readjust the straps on backpacks and diaper bags. I can't stand it hanging down my butt while he can't get his arms in after I've used them. I also have a hard time readjusting the mirrors in the truck, which I seldom drive. I have to reach so I'm off the seat to adjust the mirror and by the time I'm settled again it may or may not be where I want it yet. I also have to lift my heel off the floor to press the break all the way, but I'd be too close to the steering wheel if I moved close enough to not have to do that. The truck is simply not my size. I love my little car, though I'll admit we could use a slightly larger vehicle given the two kids and all we do. If only our budget fit that size requirement.
As for fitting into things like situations, how many jobs do people hold before they find longevity? I lost count of my jobs from high school till now, but there were a fair amount of trades involved before I found my current job. Even with it, Jesse and I had several schedule changes before we found the right fit between the two of us (in order to not need daycare, which also didn't fit the budget). It still isn't what we wanted but it works for now.
I never would have imagined myself in a house as tiny as we have, but I love the Love Shack! I've been saying lately that it's a good thing the house isn't any bigger because I already lose things on a regular basis and have a hard time keeping it clean. It's simply the perfect fit for us. That's another thing: I thought I'd found a good fit in men a couple times but when I found Jesse I knew I didn't want to do any more shopping around. Awww... Isn't that romantic? In all seriousness, it's true. We're honest-to-God best friends and there's no better fit.
Sure there's times when I wish I could reach above the fridge, or that the trunk of my car fit the double stroller a little more easily, or that we didn't have to stretch the budget so thin just to take the kids on an outing to the beach. We need one of those portable zipper closets to keep our dress clothes in the basement since there's no room upstairs. We play around with ideas for the kids' room when they get too old to share a bedroom, whenever that will be. What if we don't have the ability to expand and add a floor with more bedrooms? For now, they love sharing. Besides, what can we do right now? We have to make do with what we have.
Well, I've expended my night and still haven't folded laundry. That's a job the size of which I wouldn't mind cutting down. I guess I'll have to put my little laptop aside, shut down the desktop, and get folding. Hopefully I'll get a long, restful sleep tonight, a good fit for what the day brings tomorrow.
I feel like I'm always making do or making adjustments. My husband and I are not the same size. He's a decent height and broad-shouldered while I'm rather average for a woman in terms of height. We always have to readjust the straps on backpacks and diaper bags. I can't stand it hanging down my butt while he can't get his arms in after I've used them. I also have a hard time readjusting the mirrors in the truck, which I seldom drive. I have to reach so I'm off the seat to adjust the mirror and by the time I'm settled again it may or may not be where I want it yet. I also have to lift my heel off the floor to press the break all the way, but I'd be too close to the steering wheel if I moved close enough to not have to do that. The truck is simply not my size. I love my little car, though I'll admit we could use a slightly larger vehicle given the two kids and all we do. If only our budget fit that size requirement.
As for fitting into things like situations, how many jobs do people hold before they find longevity? I lost count of my jobs from high school till now, but there were a fair amount of trades involved before I found my current job. Even with it, Jesse and I had several schedule changes before we found the right fit between the two of us (in order to not need daycare, which also didn't fit the budget). It still isn't what we wanted but it works for now.
I never would have imagined myself in a house as tiny as we have, but I love the Love Shack! I've been saying lately that it's a good thing the house isn't any bigger because I already lose things on a regular basis and have a hard time keeping it clean. It's simply the perfect fit for us. That's another thing: I thought I'd found a good fit in men a couple times but when I found Jesse I knew I didn't want to do any more shopping around. Awww... Isn't that romantic? In all seriousness, it's true. We're honest-to-God best friends and there's no better fit.
Sure there's times when I wish I could reach above the fridge, or that the trunk of my car fit the double stroller a little more easily, or that we didn't have to stretch the budget so thin just to take the kids on an outing to the beach. We need one of those portable zipper closets to keep our dress clothes in the basement since there's no room upstairs. We play around with ideas for the kids' room when they get too old to share a bedroom, whenever that will be. What if we don't have the ability to expand and add a floor with more bedrooms? For now, they love sharing. Besides, what can we do right now? We have to make do with what we have.
Well, I've expended my night and still haven't folded laundry. That's a job the size of which I wouldn't mind cutting down. I guess I'll have to put my little laptop aside, shut down the desktop, and get folding. Hopefully I'll get a long, restful sleep tonight, a good fit for what the day brings tomorrow.
Do you have any idea who I AM?
So a coworker was asking me about my vacation and I mentioned Creation Festival which is a Christian festival which my friends all well know is more my passion than any other work I've ever done. Then she asked, "So how was your Christian... camp...?"
Let's get a few things straight: A Christian Festival does not mean we all hold hands and sing gay lovey songs and clap and wield our bibles around in some flowery, dainty little show of affection to God. I told her it was a festival of music, like... a music festival <shock face!> and we aren't all hands-in-the-air lunatics. We're music fanatics who use the medium to express Christian values. Many of us even grimace at the crazy-heads who skip around trying to save the saved... okay, All of us grimace at that kind. There's TONS of genres of Christian music. Pop, rap, reggae, metal, grunge... you name it! She was shocked. I was pleased. Conversation ended.
Before I am anything else, I am a Christian. I am not a good prayer. I am no good at Bible knowledge. I suck at times as a mother/daughter/friend/wife/etc. But what makes me more human is that I know it's okay because I have a God Who Loves me regardless and will lift me up and put me right back in place... sometimes painfully, sometimes begrudgingly, sometimes desperately. I know I can do better and I'm so hard on myself sometimes, but as depressed as I've ever been I've always known one thing without any doubt in any fiber of my being. The time in this world is short - nothing - compared to eternity. And because I have a God who loves me, as long as I continue to turn to Him in any situation, I don't have to work for it. He's already done all the work, all the Bloodshed, all the Sacrificing, all the Suffering. Mock me, shake your head, wonder at my faith, my words of certainty which many doubt. Fine. I'm so used to it. I know where I'm going.
So to those in the world, primping your hair and wasting money on your looks and caring about gossip and who does what for a living: Are you sure you have your priorities straight? Is your Gucci bag coming to the next life with you. Or a more short-term question: will it help you satisfy yourself and your self-image. If the answer is yes then you're missing the point. Often the things people see and hear and taste and touch miss the point.
We look to the horizon and long ago thought it was the edge of the world. We finally learned how to sail beyond and saw more than we'd ever imagined. Then we learned how to fly and saw another horizon. Soon we learned how to soar higher until we got the whole picture: the Earth, a sphere of life, held together by means we were barely discovering! Think we know much more than the horizon of our souls yet? Doubt it. For me, I'd like to place my trust in Someone Who Knows all about it.
Christianity isn't some silly little phase of humanity. It isn't some cute little gathering where we all cry about our little feelings in the big mean world. It's certainly not just a bunch of limitations and rules to punish people and control people. All those kinds of people are, again, missing the point. Christianity is putting your heart on Jesus and knowing that He'll guide you through this life and into the next. It's knowing that He's been there and knows the way and goes before you to prepare it. It's raw, unadulterated, unfiltered LOVE. It's about a God Who became Man and Bled and Died for us. That's not frilly people! That's solid heart-wrenching!
So for those who think our cute little Christian fests are a waste of time and the music is some quaint little love song with boring repetitious ballads and choir-like backgrounds, check out some Tobymac or Newboys or Jars of Clay. Yes there are melodic praise songs, but listen to the words and compare them to the crap lyrics on secular radio. What do you want your child singing along to?
_Stepping off the soapbox now._
Let's get a few things straight: A Christian Festival does not mean we all hold hands and sing gay lovey songs and clap and wield our bibles around in some flowery, dainty little show of affection to God. I told her it was a festival of music, like... a music festival <shock face!> and we aren't all hands-in-the-air lunatics. We're music fanatics who use the medium to express Christian values. Many of us even grimace at the crazy-heads who skip around trying to save the saved... okay, All of us grimace at that kind. There's TONS of genres of Christian music. Pop, rap, reggae, metal, grunge... you name it! She was shocked. I was pleased. Conversation ended.
Before I am anything else, I am a Christian. I am not a good prayer. I am no good at Bible knowledge. I suck at times as a mother/daughter/friend/wife/etc. But what makes me more human is that I know it's okay because I have a God Who Loves me regardless and will lift me up and put me right back in place... sometimes painfully, sometimes begrudgingly, sometimes desperately. I know I can do better and I'm so hard on myself sometimes, but as depressed as I've ever been I've always known one thing without any doubt in any fiber of my being. The time in this world is short - nothing - compared to eternity. And because I have a God who loves me, as long as I continue to turn to Him in any situation, I don't have to work for it. He's already done all the work, all the Bloodshed, all the Sacrificing, all the Suffering. Mock me, shake your head, wonder at my faith, my words of certainty which many doubt. Fine. I'm so used to it. I know where I'm going.
So to those in the world, primping your hair and wasting money on your looks and caring about gossip and who does what for a living: Are you sure you have your priorities straight? Is your Gucci bag coming to the next life with you. Or a more short-term question: will it help you satisfy yourself and your self-image. If the answer is yes then you're missing the point. Often the things people see and hear and taste and touch miss the point.
We look to the horizon and long ago thought it was the edge of the world. We finally learned how to sail beyond and saw more than we'd ever imagined. Then we learned how to fly and saw another horizon. Soon we learned how to soar higher until we got the whole picture: the Earth, a sphere of life, held together by means we were barely discovering! Think we know much more than the horizon of our souls yet? Doubt it. For me, I'd like to place my trust in Someone Who Knows all about it.
Christianity isn't some silly little phase of humanity. It isn't some cute little gathering where we all cry about our little feelings in the big mean world. It's certainly not just a bunch of limitations and rules to punish people and control people. All those kinds of people are, again, missing the point. Christianity is putting your heart on Jesus and knowing that He'll guide you through this life and into the next. It's knowing that He's been there and knows the way and goes before you to prepare it. It's raw, unadulterated, unfiltered LOVE. It's about a God Who became Man and Bled and Died for us. That's not frilly people! That's solid heart-wrenching!
So for those who think our cute little Christian fests are a waste of time and the music is some quaint little love song with boring repetitious ballads and choir-like backgrounds, check out some Tobymac or Newboys or Jars of Clay. Yes there are melodic praise songs, but listen to the words and compare them to the crap lyrics on secular radio. What do you want your child singing along to?
_Stepping off the soapbox now._
What bugs you?
Hunkered down in my stance, eyes darting across the room for my foe, I tighten my grip, ready to twitch at any moment and swing... at another damned housefly! I love those electric racket thingies! Thanks Joe and Phyllis, yup, we still use it!
So we're dealing with the humidity, heat, and bugs-bugs-BUGS!!! We're killing spiders, ants (not much), silver fish (ewe!), and house flies! Those effers take 12 electrocutions to get stunned, then we smash them! I love the cool evenings of summer or early spring, I love the beautiful sun and beach weather by day, I hate the bugs. Okay, I don't loathe them so much as don't want them in my living space.
Bekah freaks with bugs. I mean freaks. Has to be calmed down and everything.We've been trying to teach her to not be afraid by going on bug hunts and learning about the different kinds. She's coming along slowly. Let's be clear though, I am not afraid of the germ-carrying, disgusting, creepy, mini-scum.
On a lighter note: Shadow hunts bugs. One more reason to heart that kitty big time!
Next blog: hopefully not so boring and ranty ;)
So we're dealing with the humidity, heat, and bugs-bugs-BUGS!!! We're killing spiders, ants (not much), silver fish (ewe!), and house flies! Those effers take 12 electrocutions to get stunned, then we smash them! I love the cool evenings of summer or early spring, I love the beautiful sun and beach weather by day, I hate the bugs. Okay, I don't loathe them so much as don't want them in my living space.
Bekah freaks with bugs. I mean freaks. Has to be calmed down and everything.We've been trying to teach her to not be afraid by going on bug hunts and learning about the different kinds. She's coming along slowly. Let's be clear though, I am not afraid of the germ-carrying, disgusting, creepy, mini-scum.
On a lighter note: Shadow hunts bugs. One more reason to heart that kitty big time!
Next blog: hopefully not so boring and ranty ;)
Creation 2011
Where to begin...
I'll keep it simple for now and just type about the trip portion of going to Creation Festival Northeast. The non-stop road trip is supposed to take about 8.25 hours or so, but of course we had stops so it basically took all day. All day in a truck with the BFF and our good friend Ron Dunbar meant some serious belly laughs. Needless to say it all started out well... um, despite our navigator misdirecting us once... ahem, sorry boys!
We set up camp with some difficulty as the pop-up camper was, er, a bit elderly. Let's just say the Viking was on her last leg and final voyage. Cable snapped, door broke, wouldn't level right, and we used a block of wood and strapping to hold one of the corners up. Love having a handy hubby!
Day two I lost my sunblock. Bought more later. Day three I lost my Leatherman, but I got it back two days later. Friday I had a wardrobe malfunction which resulted in immediate and unwarranted air conditioning. Yeeaaahhhh... and I was on shift that night, but Jesse walked back up the hill with me and back before the next set change. That night was the craziest strike I'd ever done... well, debatable but it's up there. Dear Skillet, please get lighter materials when building your spinning, moving, elevated drum riser. Thanks. Love, all the volunteer stage crew you ever encounter.
But did I have fun. Yes, oh yes. Great shows true, awesome people of course, and What A Crowd! The sheer proportions... the way everything shut down for lunch and dinner and the main speakers. People actually gathered for the speakers and paid attention, and they were great!
There's so much more to say but it's late and we're all tired and I have photos to upload. I will certainly try to attend next year as well and we're considering taking the kids too. Any takers? Amazing experience! Worth the trip!
God Bless!
I'll keep it simple for now and just type about the trip portion of going to Creation Festival Northeast. The non-stop road trip is supposed to take about 8.25 hours or so, but of course we had stops so it basically took all day. All day in a truck with the BFF and our good friend Ron Dunbar meant some serious belly laughs. Needless to say it all started out well... um, despite our navigator misdirecting us once... ahem, sorry boys!
We set up camp with some difficulty as the pop-up camper was, er, a bit elderly. Let's just say the Viking was on her last leg and final voyage. Cable snapped, door broke, wouldn't level right, and we used a block of wood and strapping to hold one of the corners up. Love having a handy hubby!
Day two I lost my sunblock. Bought more later. Day three I lost my Leatherman, but I got it back two days later. Friday I had a wardrobe malfunction which resulted in immediate and unwarranted air conditioning. Yeeaaahhhh... and I was on shift that night, but Jesse walked back up the hill with me and back before the next set change. That night was the craziest strike I'd ever done... well, debatable but it's up there. Dear Skillet, please get lighter materials when building your spinning, moving, elevated drum riser. Thanks. Love, all the volunteer stage crew you ever encounter.
But did I have fun. Yes, oh yes. Great shows true, awesome people of course, and What A Crowd! The sheer proportions... the way everything shut down for lunch and dinner and the main speakers. People actually gathered for the speakers and paid attention, and they were great!
There's so much more to say but it's late and we're all tired and I have photos to upload. I will certainly try to attend next year as well and we're considering taking the kids too. Any takers? Amazing experience! Worth the trip!
God Bless!
Do You Know Where Your Instincts Are?
Okay, I imagine myself as a fairly intelligent person. I can spell words over five letters, though I always wondered why vomiting has only one 't.' I can balance a checkbook. I can even manage new recipes with overly curious and too-zealous-to-cook toddlers tagging along. So do I blame the recent 'Oh Shit!' moments of 'Duh?' on lack of sleep or poor sleep or some mental erosion of the thought process? I'd like to think I could still act in an emergency, at least adequately enough to avoid harm to myself or those around me... I'd like to think...
So last week I brought the kids to Spring Brooks Park in Bedford. We're in the wading pool area and there's a mom with a bunch of kids around 3-5 and one 15 month-old. Yeah... Don't worry; everyone was okay. She parenting the 3-year-old when a woman yells from across (across!) the water, "Oh my God! Is he okay?!"
I'm 3 feet from the little one who's face down in the water with his little feet scrambling to grab the bottom. It's only about 18 inches deep at this point. I stared; in my mind I stuttered with what action to take.
Pick him up you idiot!
His mother crossed twice the distance (yes, she was that distant) and grabbed him. He was panicked but perfectly fine. She was astounded it even happened. I didn't know who to slap first. Thank God for the infant instinct to hold one's breath when water hits one's face. It's how those diehard swim instructors train 6 month-olds to swim.
Okay, I'm not too hard on myself for that non-reaction, but I'd have thought I'd have done better. I think what held me back was, "Oh, he'll freak if a stranger picks him up." Any thought besides Pick him up! is stupid really but I was over it soon enough. After all, it was one event. Well, then today happened.
I was cooking breakfast, scrambled eggs (might've had a few brain cells in the pan), when I noticed a little smoke. Looked like something was burning off the element. Lifted to check because what if it was something bigger, right? Nope, nothing. Eggs halfway there: tons of smoke.
Crap! Pull the pan off the- Holy F$@%!
A little campfire erupted on our stove. I can only say little since Jesse campfires are, well... So I brain-stutter and then turn off the element and try to formulate a thought while realizing the fire extinguisher is packed up downstairs.
Put... something... over... find... metal...
"JESSE!!"
Thank God he hadn't put his earplugs in for the day to sleep.
He came out groggily, "Wha...?"
"Fire on the stove!"
"Oh Shit!" He whipped out our big metal mixing bowl and smothered it in a second. Then the smoke detector went off.
"Thanks," I muttered to it.
He yanked it down, pulling out the batteries and opened all the windows and turned on the fan. I explained that I hadn't seen anything on the element or the frying pan to catch fire. He then lifted the bowl with oven mitts to find a pool of oil or grease in the base. Neither of us expected that. Needless to say the stove got pulled apart and cleaned tonight.
So next week we'll be away at Creation Northeast. May God help whoever has to save me or those around me then! Who knows? Maybe I'll have found my instincts by then. Best of luck to all in my presence!
So last week I brought the kids to Spring Brooks Park in Bedford. We're in the wading pool area and there's a mom with a bunch of kids around 3-5 and one 15 month-old. Yeah... Don't worry; everyone was okay. She parenting the 3-year-old when a woman yells from across (across!) the water, "Oh my God! Is he okay?!"
I'm 3 feet from the little one who's face down in the water with his little feet scrambling to grab the bottom. It's only about 18 inches deep at this point. I stared; in my mind I stuttered with what action to take.
Pick him up you idiot!
His mother crossed twice the distance (yes, she was that distant) and grabbed him. He was panicked but perfectly fine. She was astounded it even happened. I didn't know who to slap first. Thank God for the infant instinct to hold one's breath when water hits one's face. It's how those diehard swim instructors train 6 month-olds to swim.
Okay, I'm not too hard on myself for that non-reaction, but I'd have thought I'd have done better. I think what held me back was, "Oh, he'll freak if a stranger picks him up." Any thought besides Pick him up! is stupid really but I was over it soon enough. After all, it was one event. Well, then today happened.
I was cooking breakfast, scrambled eggs (might've had a few brain cells in the pan), when I noticed a little smoke. Looked like something was burning off the element. Lifted to check because what if it was something bigger, right? Nope, nothing. Eggs halfway there: tons of smoke.
Crap! Pull the pan off the- Holy F$@%!
A little campfire erupted on our stove. I can only say little since Jesse campfires are, well... So I brain-stutter and then turn off the element and try to formulate a thought while realizing the fire extinguisher is packed up downstairs.
Put... something... over... find... metal...
"JESSE!!"
Thank God he hadn't put his earplugs in for the day to sleep.
He came out groggily, "Wha...?"
"Fire on the stove!"
"Oh Shit!" He whipped out our big metal mixing bowl and smothered it in a second. Then the smoke detector went off.
"Thanks," I muttered to it.
He yanked it down, pulling out the batteries and opened all the windows and turned on the fan. I explained that I hadn't seen anything on the element or the frying pan to catch fire. He then lifted the bowl with oven mitts to find a pool of oil or grease in the base. Neither of us expected that. Needless to say the stove got pulled apart and cleaned tonight.
So next week we'll be away at Creation Northeast. May God help whoever has to save me or those around me then! Who knows? Maybe I'll have found my instincts by then. Best of luck to all in my presence!
Kitty Litter
Well, some of you might have heard we've 'rescued' a kitten. Really Jesse just got one and hid it in the backyard until I came home. Okay... supposedly she appeared on the back steps and really she's too cute to pass up. My daughter says she was a gift from Samuel (our sponsor child in Brazil) or that maybe she's Samuel's kitty and got lost. Yeah... cute honey but not so much. Long story short: did some research, figured she's about 8 weeks old, fed her some tuna (had nothing else and it was nighttime), made her a shoebox bed, and... drum roll... she has a name. It's over folks.
I was, however, the voice of reason and I did demand signs be made and posted about a 'Found Kitten.' I posted them this morning and we have a vet appointment Thursday afternoon. If we don't hear from anyone by then, we'll go ahead and call her our own. I kind of think she's already doing that. I know Bekah and Jesse are anyway. We have Kitten Chow and a disposable litter box now. I told the kids she was visiting until her mommy and daddy find her. If they didn't find her then we'd keep her but we couldn't buy her things until then. I am taken, but I'm also thinking ahead.
Trouble is, we wanted to have a dog and cat at the same time to let them equally become part of the family. We also wanted to wait for the kids to be old enough to help take care of them. Did I lose out here? Yeah kind of since I now want a puppy, but I don't imagine that's going to appear on the back steps anytime soon. Oh well, one pet at a time I guess. Really I wanted a dog and Jesse wanted a cat... I suppose the boy was overdue for a break.
I was, however, the voice of reason and I did demand signs be made and posted about a 'Found Kitten.' I posted them this morning and we have a vet appointment Thursday afternoon. If we don't hear from anyone by then, we'll go ahead and call her our own. I kind of think she's already doing that. I know Bekah and Jesse are anyway. We have Kitten Chow and a disposable litter box now. I told the kids she was visiting until her mommy and daddy find her. If they didn't find her then we'd keep her but we couldn't buy her things until then. I am taken, but I'm also thinking ahead.
Trouble is, we wanted to have a dog and cat at the same time to let them equally become part of the family. We also wanted to wait for the kids to be old enough to help take care of them. Did I lose out here? Yeah kind of since I now want a puppy, but I don't imagine that's going to appear on the back steps anytime soon. Oh well, one pet at a time I guess. Really I wanted a dog and Jesse wanted a cat... I suppose the boy was overdue for a break.
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