- I say no, I ignore, I restrict, and demand chores, I let them cry and freak out, and I often demand that they stop crying and stop freaking out.
- When they're too tired and want to be carried, I say, "Yeah, me too," and continue walking.
- When they're whining that they're only hungry for ice cream, I tell them it will cause bad poops and nightmares to eat ice cream before grow-strong food and I don't want to hear them complain all night.
- When they're whining that they're too tired, I offer for them to go to bed or take a nap.
- When there's 'too many' toys to clean up, I say, "I bet they'd fit in a trash bag! Let's find out!" (Kudos to my BFF for actually sweeping them into a pile this week and causing a frantic clean-up session. Parenting tip: only start with toys you won't miss and that you know they can get over. Hide them, then days or weeks later decided whether or not to find them. Be prepared for loudness and treat this trick with care.)
- I do not allow them to leave the table before being dismissed.
- No one gets anything without asking politely and whining the word 'please' after being asked doesn't count.
- Leaving the table forfeits dessert.
- After leaving the table, they must leave the kitchen so as not to disturb those eating and having nice meal conversation.
- No stuffed 'friends' or toys at the table, that includes the chairs.
- No food or drink allowed at the computer, period.
- Tub toys are tub toys; no other toys are; they are not exchangeable.
- Treat books with respect, period.
- When they whine and fight, unless it's physical or obviously unfair, I state once to, "work it out yourselves as best friends should," then ignore them. I will only intervene if it gets too intense. I make it clear that their 'job in life' is to make their sibling happy. (I treat it similar to a marriage where the greater good is done by putting the other person first.)
- I make them put toys away where they belong or it's just not put away yet.
- I say, "Yes if..." and stick to it; when they fail, they fail. (I try to help them succeed.)
- If they want to achieve something new, I teach them and make them learn by doing, even if they want to give up. In those times, I say, "it's your choice, but if you want it, you need to keep trying. I can't do that for you."
- I make them go potty by themselves when I know they're only whining for me for company. (I'll stand outside the door for their privacy.)
I sound awful don't I? This should help...
- I throw them in bathing suits on hot days and let them paint outside, artist style on the old shed we don't care about.
- I let them eat ice cream or dessert before supper... (yes, seriously) when they haven't had junk all day and I know they like supper and it's not for a while.
- I typically don't say no to food requests unless right before a meal, and they never request anything unreasonable. (My kids snack on vegetables from carrots to zucchini!)
- I let them, very occasionally, eat dinner on their kid trays during a movie.
- I get stuff done and they actually eat well!
- Books are ALWAYS allowed, sometimes after being tucked in as well. Then, they get one book each, may not share, must read 'in your head silently' and leave the book at the foot of your bed when finished. The only exception is when bedtime has come and gone due to childish 'delays.'
- I'm not afraid to let them play with toy weapons at home, which they seldom do. (We've made it clear and understood no weapons, imaginary or otherwise, at any school/camp setting.)
- I let them get pre-poured-and-capped juice from the fridge first thing in the morning and turn on the TV (left on Disney) or (without juice) turn on the computer with their login and play games. Yup, I'm mean and lazy.
- My house is littered with their artwork which they put up pretty much anywhere.
- They pick it: from library books to projects they want to make at home to racing RC cars or going on a nature hunt. (Kudos again to the BFF for the awesome solar systems hanging so well-balanced in our living room and their bedroom!)
- I give music, dance, karate, riding (given by Trisha!), writing, reading, painting, science, math, geography, you-name-it lessons when requested. Yes, they request lots.
I was picking them up from our town's school-run day camp and the teacher couldn't stop telling me how wonderful they were. They were extremely polite, best behaved, completely independent, and very smart, and they weren't too upset when they missed the water slide (which was done in the AM session.) She didn't stop about it! I smiled and said, "I'm a mean mama. I say 'no' a lot and they're used to disappointment. I also make them do things for themselves." "Well," she smiled, "good job!"
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