Round is a Shape

Okay so there's looking 'thin' and feeling 'thin' and really I'm not so much concerned about that as I am feeling fit. I could gain 15lbs and not care if it meant I was in better shape. I used to dance four nights a week and I was in awesome shape, but then I also had horrible wind; no cardio ability whatsoever. Years later I got into Kenpo karate thanks to a friend in a Cardio-kickboxing class. It was a rough road for a while but I found my wind thanks to an amazing instructor. So there I was, in my prime (yes, I'm going there), physically fit with cardio ability and all. Okay, so I wasn't exactly a marathon runner, but I was in great shape for me. (I also weighed 15-20lbs more than I do now for those who follow numbers. Proof they aren't everything.)

Right now, two kids and years of no hard physical activity later, I couldn't take 15 minutes of a karate class let alone a kickboxing class. I can barely climb stairs without getting winded. My kids are each about 28lbs and I can't carry both at the same time without some back pain... okay, even one without back pain. Really, it's not my style to be this un-fit. I have lost the weight, and I had about 75lbs to loose after recovering from my son. I'm less than when I got married, but I'm not that shape anymore. Child-bearing changes more than one's belly. My ribs are wider, boobs sag, chest and waist and hips are completely different proportions than they used to be. It's not about getting a different size; I have to shop for different styles than I could get before. Very frustrating! I can't tell you how many times I had to buy new bras. They are not cheap! Blasted things probably cost me a pay check.

Here's the plan: Lent starts tomorrow; so do I. I can't afford those high-profile programs like the P90X, but I do know how to work out a workout. I know how to do push-ups (albeit I'm not great), I can don sit-ups (though not like I used to), I can do jumping jacks and cardio workouts. I'll be slow at first, mostly stretching and slow strength training, but I'm going to try to stick to it. I have a couple friends who've said they'll hold me to it. Accountability is my issue. I'll go to a class if I'm signed up. I'll take my kids to the park when it's in the plan. But will I take an hour or even 30 minutes between coming home at 9pm and going to bed by midnight to actually exert myself? That's where I need someone to make sure I'm making myself do it.

So, wish me luck. No idea how much time I'll be able to commit each night, or how long this will last, or how effective a quiet, nighttime workout can be, but I'm giving it a shot. Someday, if my schedule changes, maybe I'll be able to get back to karate, or even back to staging (which I also miss dearly!!), but I won't be able to do either until I get myself back into shape, a healthy, fit shape regardless of any numbers.