Spring is finally here and snow is finally melted (though our Christmas tree is still hanging out in the driveway!). Now I can start taking the kids outside more and with our yard and (half-way finished) swing-set there's plenty to do. Thank God too because the cost of activities has been killing us!
Okay, we pay for a membership to the Y so we can pay lower fees for swim lessons. This has paid off; they swim with bubbles and no adult help now. I've paid for a few classes in the past wherein Bekah would play in the mat room and maybe make a craft once in a while, but we started to be the only ones coming and it wasn't worth the arm it cost. Daycare and Preschool? Forget it! It costs more than I make, yet I make too much to qualify for 'help' anywhere. I've been doing school-like activities at home all along though, craft, short lessons, reading, etc. We were just missing the social interactions... really missing them.
So I joined a mom's group. Found one online, not sure why I couldn't find it sooner; mustn't have looked the right way. It's a low yearly fee and there's TONS of things happening! We've so far done two mall-walks and one play-group and I love it! I can start-up with, "Hi, I'm Caroline..." and it's much less awkward being part of a group than trying to pop into conversation at the Simon's Kid Klubhouse with other parents who're trying to let their kids burn steam while they check emails and sag for a moment during their busy day. I am so glad winter's over, for real this time.
In other news, we have a backyard! Okay not so much news as: Yay, we're using it now! We starting putting together the swing-set (only missing the monkey-bars but stable and the open area is tied off for now), we have a play house thanks to a connection through a friend, and we just need to lose a pile of dirt where the shed once was and get some grass growing. I've been wanting to host a baby-toddler water party in the summer but it'd be a mud party without the grass. Only trouble is the cost. Boy, would I love to just throw out some sod and be done with it! I'd rather not have to wait for seed or have to keep my kids off the lawn, but it's the more likely option for us. Hopefully we'll get something happening in time for some backyard company. Kinda tight getting more than four adults in the house nevermind busy children running around, otherwise I'd host a playgroup.
Even on the rainy days I've been able to find something for the kids and me to keep busy and happy-ish. Besides movies and crafts, we've got an awesome library in town and they have some great children's programs. My kids love the preschool story time and they love picking out new books to bring home. It's like free preschool minus the lesson plan. If it's free, it's for me (as Jess would say). I do everything I possibly can to reduce the need for paying for preschool, although I'll likely get Bekah into some 2-day program before kindergarten, but if not I know she won't be too overwhelmed come school time.
Honestly, I'm baffled by the stay-at-home-mom thing. Jesse would have to double his paycheck, double people! And we're scraping by with our piddly mortgage! Here it is on the table (minus real figures): We both work full-time, no daycare, low mortgage, barely making it. I'm not complaining; I'm baffled. I am amazed at what God has provided for us... amazed! But I see stay-home-moms with homes that I know cost more than double ours and their kids are signed up for tons more things and I just wonder sometimes. Does that working dad really make over four times what one of us makes? We're not bagging at Market Basket. We're not living it up in a four bedroom, or even a three. We're psyched we have the home we have but sometimes I wonder how it all adds up. I shouldn't, but I can't always help it. I once said I was going to change my name, change the kids' names, divorce my husband, tear up my diplomas, stop paying taxes, walk with a limp and talk with an accent and then we'd be all set. Seriously, I'd rather be me and live honestly, piddly but honestly.
Bottom line: I love my family, more than words. I love our home, our blessings, our life together. God's still working on me and He'll be doing that till the day I go home. In the meantime, I pray He helps me and Jess provide for the lit'uns as needed and gets us through the years with minimal stress over money. It's the number one cause of all negativity in this world and we really don't need it... the negativity, not the money... we do need the money.
I want the kids to remember the fun times in their childhood, not the stress that led to it sometimes. I guess that's what my parents wanted too, hence the sticker shock now that I'm here. They did a good job hiding their financial stresses, although I think it's worse now than it was then (yes, even relatively speaking). If we can make it through the soaring gas prices, we'll be giving our munchkins yet another fun-filled, memorable summer, this time with more friends and connections too.
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